pumpktoberfest #43 -
treat yoself.

spice up yer nuts.
 

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Entries in minor league baseball (3)

Monday
Jul112011

snackdown! - 7.11.11

happy 7/11 everyone! if you haven't visited your local 7-eleven today & picked up your government-mandated complimentary 7.11 oz slurpee, i honestly don't know what the hell you're doing sitting here reading my blog. you could have FREE ice & syrup coursing through your veins RIGHT NOW! if you've already gone & got your slurpee, congratulations on doing your duty as an american citizen. also, here's an eat!drink!snack! bonus tip: there's no free slurpee tracking system in place at 7-eleven, so if you don't care about honesty, you could get multiple free slurpees at multiple 7-eleven locations.

a second eat!drink!snack! bonus tip: if you're a breeder in need of respite, get each of your tiny breedlings a slurpee post haste...the earlier the better. once your spawn comes down from his and/or her sugar high, it's early bedtime for them & more free time for you...unless you ALSO get a slurpee, in which case there's a chance that you might pass out early too. anyway, good luck today, never forget & here's some stuff that happened in the world of edibles & drinkables this week...

Click to read more ...

Wednesday
Apr292009

snack away! #5 - deez nutz.

growing up in new hampshire, the options for local professional/semi-professional/ being-paid-in-grade-F-meat sporting events were...well let’s just say they were limited. in fact, as i remember it, the only option was the nashua pirates, the AA affiliate of the pittsburgh pirates. the reason behind this was pretty obvious: new hampshire had a total population of about 36 (citation needed).  it may have been slightly higher than that, i’m not sure. look, i’m not a "scientist."  the point is, we at least had the pirates, and my mom would occasionally take me and a bunch of my friends to catch a game.

OK...it was me and two of my friends.

OK...one friend.

OK...i’d go with just my mom. *sigh* let’s just move on.

the pirates only stuck around for three seasons, most likely because someone in the pirates organization finally figured out where the hell nashua was. i imagine it was a quick conversation that went something like, "hey earl, did you realize we had a minor league affiliate in new hampshire?!" "no i didn’t...why did we put a team in canada?"  after that there was a dark period in new hampshire pro sports known as "nothing," which was fine by me since i was past the age where i could be entertained by below average ballplayers, but not old enough to know how awesome sports were with beer.

that brings us to the present day. new hampshire has had a resurgence of marginal and minor league sports teams, led by the manchester monarchs (hockey – l.a. kings minor league team) and the new hampshire fisher cats (baseball – blue jays AA team). the "oates" to these "halls" of the granite state sports landscape are undoubtedly the manchester freedom. who are the manchester freedom, you ask?...seriously? you asked that? dude, i provided a link. do you need me to come over and carry you to your rascal too? dag.

the freedom are part of the solution to the sport everyone has been craving: woman’s tackle football! wow. and this isn’t anything like the lingerie football league, which I could see pulling in a few bucks (i mean just look at that professionally designed website!). this is full pads and they take themselves very seriously. a friend of mine attended their first home game...he said attendance was approximately 100 people. oops.

snack away! #5 - deez nutz.
guest blogger: jay wilkinson, nashua, nh

snack: hampton farms cajun creole hot nuts
drink: woodstock inn pig's ear brown ale


we started this thing off with baseball, so what better snack & drink combo to represent that then peanuts and beer? now, i know what you're thinking: here comes a poorly-executed and predictable joke about genitalia. well you're wrong. i'm not doing it. no way. i will not sully a great snack like hot nuts. i just enjoy the taste of a couple warm and salty nuts in my mouth too much to go down like that.

the hampton farms cajun creole hot nuts were a great little find for me about a month ago at the local supermarket. these things are ridiculous. i don't know what kind of sorcery the good folks at hampton farms are employing to make these little peanut wonders, but somehow the peanuts are coated with cajuny goodness while still in the shell. the first time i bought them, i ate a half a bag in one sitting.

about an hour later, i decided to take my contacts out. there was no hand-washing in the interim. for those of you without contacts, coating your fingers with any sort of hot sauce or powder and then sticking one of the aforementioned fingers in your eye is a good way to come up with new curse words. that night, i came up with "poopsticks" and another one i won't print here, as it's basically a slight to the queen of england, a large breed of dog, and a popular confectionary treat all-in-one. look, i don't know who reads this thing.

where was i? oh yeah...hot nuts are the nuts of the gods and go great with beer. i chose a local brew that i tried for the first time this weekend, woodstock inn pig's ear brown ale. i'm not ashamed to admit i chose it because of the name. i'm a simple man, but it was actually a fine beer and i'll likely go back for more in the future. the hot nuts are not local, though, and i urge you to go out and find some if you enjoy the whole peanut-in-the-shell experience.

jay wilkinson is a 34-yr old new hampshire native who has lived there his whole life. except for that year in the circus where he cultivated his love of peanuts and his legendary hatred of clown culture. seriously, anyone who becomes a clown is just masking underlying and disturbing sociopathic tendencies. get help, freak. did you know that penn of penn & teller went to clown college? i know, right?! i bet you that dude has killed a few drifters in his day.

Thursday
Mar262009

nosh nook #9 - thursday, march 26, 2009

whitecaps' fifth third burger not for faint of heart (link)
03.25.09 - the grand rapids press - by michael zuidema

if there's one thing that minor league baseball teams like to do, it's do CAH-RAY-ZEE things to get people to come to games.my personal favorite minor league promotions include:

"awful night" (altoona curve) - a dead fish slingshot catch, a giveaway of the team's general manager's gall bladder & autographs with non-celebrities

"who wants to be a turkish millionaire" (nashua pride) - crowd members answer questions for one million turkish lira (back when that much used to be worth around a dollar)

"nobody night" (charleston riverdogs) - the owner shut the entire crowd out of the stadium until the fifth inning, when the game became official & the game attendance officially became 0.

now the west michigan whitecaps, a detroit tigers' affiliate, are garnering publicity because they're adding a 4,800-calorie ballpark snack to the menu--a five-patty burger with a bunch of other junk on it. this video, from the grand rapids press, does a great job of putting this treat in perspective:


as michael zuidema mentions in his piece, the team has, in the past, offered a number of awesome snack options at the ballpark--deep-fried twinkies, deep-fried pepsi (i don't even know how that'd work) & turkey drumsticks. i would so love to munch on a huge-ass turkey drumstick at a ball game. it'd be just like kind richard's faire, but with less jousting. bring it on brooklyn cyclones! medieval night! do it do it do it!