#168 - you've been iced, bro!
Wednesday, August 11, 2010 at 9:00AM
parowpyro in boston, chips, malt liquor, meditations

i consider myself lucky. to this day i've remained friends with a number of people who i first met in high school & even prior to that. this past friday, bri, my first ever friend from kindergarten, got married down in savannah, georgia & while i wasn't able to make it down south for the wedding, about a month back, i was able to make it up to boston for a weekend of bachelor party activities with him & a dozen or so of our friends. it's the second bachelor party i've had the opportunity to attend this summer & though the first one was a blast, bri's definitely took first prize.

the weekend began on friday afternoon, when i met tadley (of spotted dick fame) & leduc (of fig newton fame) at leduc's place in newton & headed into the city to meet up with a few of the other guys at mcgreevy's & do a little afternoon drinking before that evening's red sox-rangers game. mcgreevy's claims to be america's oldest sports bar (founded back in 1894), but other than having a bunch of random, old-timey boston sports junk on the wall, it didn't seem that old. maybe it's because it's only been open at that locale for three years or so. it was here that i polished off a pulled pork sandwich & learned of narragansett, boston's answer to pbr. after a few hours there, we headed over to cask'n flagon, a sox bar located just outside the walls of fenway park, where we met the rest of our group.

by the time we finally made our way over to the game, we were already pretty tipsy & mother nature decided to screw with us, as rain began falling during the 4th inning of the game. after retreating under the stands to wait it out, we ditched the game for the baseball tavern, but that didn't last long, as we got kicked out after a drink. the evening eventually ended at jumbo seafood, a restaurant in chinatown, where those of us who still remained standing laid waste to a disgusting amount of chinese food. for some reason, i decided to order the fried quail only to discover that quails are pretty much the most meatless bird on the planet.

i awoke the next morning with the stereotypical boston breakfast--dunkin donuts--and we made our way down to quincy to board a boat that we'd reserved for a two-hour cruise around the harbor. as far as i can remember, the last time i'd been on a boat was for a middle school whale watch, so i would've been happy with a crappy vessel, but the guy in charge of the weekend's festivities came through with one badass boat. as i cruised around the harbor with the sun shining down & a beer in one hand & a cigar in the other, i felt like some sort of middle-income rap star. plus, while i won't get into details, i will say that when you're on a private boat out on the harbor, some crazy shit can happen. we're not talking monkey knife fights or anything, but it still ruled.

that evening, we had reservations at smith & wollensky steakhouse, a fancy schmancy steakhouse in some historic building downtown. we'd reserved a huge table on one of the upper floors, one large enough to fit fifteen of us. what this meant was that smith & wollensky got the pleasure of catering to fifteen men in their thirties who'd been drinking for most of the day. while i don't exactly remember, i'm sure the waiters loved us. we started with a bunch of seafood towers, but i ended up stepping outside for a few minutes & "taking a walk around the block," so by the time i returned, the seafood tower was long gone. oops. for dinner, i had the cajun seasoned filet mignon & DAY-YAM! i don't eat steak that often, but i know when i've had a good one.

after dinner, we headed out to some bar just down the street, but i'll be damned if i can recall which one it was. i didn't last that much longer & soon made my way back to leduc's place with a few of the guys. it had been a hell of a weekend, but i'd had my fill. hopefully another one of my friends decides to take the plunge real soon. who's next, boys?

snack: herr's baby back ribs chips
drink: smirnoff ice

after returning to leduc's at the end of the first evening, i broke open a bag of herr's baby back ribs chips that tadley & leduc picked up for me for blog purposes. they actually gave me the choice between the bag of baby back rib chips & a bag of herr's creamy dill pickle chips, but i've already had dill-flavored chips, so i decided to go with the rib-flavored ones. what really swayed me was the fact that the front of the bag promised "finger lickin' rib flavor." i'm a fan of anything that promises the opportunity to run my tongue all over my fingers.

i'd like to say that they were like baby back ribs in chip form, but in reality, they just tasted like barbecue sauce. while they had both the sweetness & smokiness of barbecue sauce, there really wasn't any meaty rib flavor to them, so i can't in good conscience compare them to ribs. they were damn good though. in fact, they were better than most of the barbecue chips i've ever tried. they were covered in red, barbecue powder & the fact that they're rippled added to my enjoyment. if i ever come across them again in my travels, i'm definitely going to pick up a bag. you should too.

the bachelor party weekend included copious amounts of one of the more ridiculous memes to come along in recent memory--"bros icing bros." for those not familiar with said meme, it's a prank of sorts where one bro finds a creative way to present another bro with a bottle of smirnoff ice & upon receiving the ice, the recipient must get down on one knee & chug the entire bottle. i was the first victim of this fratastic prank & given my aversion to both smirnoff ice & stupid memes, i initially refused to play along. i eventually relented though & by the time the weekend had come to a close, each & every member of our group had been "iced." it was male bonding at its best.

so what does smirnoff ice taste like? luckily, it doesn't taste like total crap. it tastes good enough to chug without puking all over the place, but that doesn't mean that i'd ever spend money on one. let's put it his way...if i had my choice between a smirnoff ice & 99% of the other beverages on the planet, smirnoff ice would lose. it's a sweet-tasting malt beverage that's only 5% ABV & although it has the smirnoff name, it's not even vodka-based. what the hell is that about? LAME. i mean, maybe if i was trying to score with some college freshman i'd pick up a sixer of them to get them drunk, but other than that or being pressured into drinking one by your friends as part of a meme, i can't think of any reason to let one pass your lips...EVER.

Article originally appeared on meditation via snacking. (http://www.eatdrinksnack.com/).
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